Shut up and ruin my life... life... life... life.

As school seems to be doing. 

I swear to the high heavens that High School is without a doubt the single most stressful thing I have ever done... ever!

The aim is to do 1 hour of homework per night. And the homeroom teacher reminded us of this on the first day back. So why is it taking me at least 3 hours to complete all my assigned homework? Huh, huh? 

The answer is simple. School sucks.

I can drop out, you know. My two dream careers don't require any form of schooling. But I know that should I drop out of year 11, I'd regret it. So you can see the pickle I seem to be in.

Gwrah.

I'm not usually the depressed sort. In fact, I like to think of myself as crazy happy. But sometimes something will happen and it will eat away at me until all I want to do is cry.

And the hard thing is it seems to always be the same thing getting me down.

I'm not very popular. I have a few close friends but I feel like I need more. And more and more and more.

There are girls at my school that I absolutely hate because they have a lot of friends but don't act very friendly.

I've always classed my friends as one of the most important things, and I have treated them like that. But maybe that's my problem.

With my last group of friends, I was protective, and I felt the need to shelter them from everything, defend them and fight for them. And that's why I lost them.

Now, all I can do is wonder what life would have been like if I wasn't as loyal as I was. If I had been a terrible friend. If I hadn't cared as mich as I did.

But do you think they realise that I only did what I did because I loved them to pieces? No. Because they were selfish, horrid people. I have to learn to let go.h

I think I might be getting my wisdom teeth. And I might have an ear infection. Just more things to add to the list of reasons why I need to see the doctor.

Some of you may find my subject confusing. Allow me to explain. I am a young girl suffering with Paranoia, GAD, Eating Disorder and Depression. Hello.

Basically, my life sucks. I live every day in fear and sadness. But, things may just be looking up. Maybe.

Also, I am an aspiring author. I got a really cute idea for a story the other day and who knows what it will become. I guess that just depends on the review I get back from "Insomnia" about the first two paragraphs.

'Tis all.